Ways to Beat "the System"

Shane - OK, so over the years, i have gotten this persona of someone that gets cleverly (yep, that's a word Virginia, it's an adverb, look it up) things for free. So here are just a few of the tricks of the trade.....

1. If you buy something (at a small family owned business) that is less than a dollar, always pay for it with a debit card. The business has to pay so much per debit card transaction, so sometimes they will just give it to you. Also, sometimes if they are really busy, they won't feel like swiping the card, so they'll say, just take it.

2. When free stuff is being thrown at you, say, at ball games or concerts, always be aware of who you are standing next to. Tall guys = bad. Kids, women, and older people = good. Now, kids are tricky. You can't be next to kids when something really valuable is on the line, such as a foul ball or something that is meant for a kid to have. The safest situation to put yourself in would be to find other people around you age that look physically inferior to you. This way, there's no question when you snag a Third Day shirt out of the air from them. It's all yours. If a free object being thrown at you somehow gets past your grasp and falls to the ground, then it's a free-for-all. Women, kids, the elderly, it doesn't matter. If you get to it, it's yours. You fought for it, and probably looked to stupid on the jumbotron in the process.

3. The "We Don't Have a Truck, But Need Something Heavy Moved" Quandary
Ok, we've probably all been in this situation before, right? How are we gonna fit that chair in our sedan or small coupe? Well, the answer is quite simple. Go for a test-drive. "You need to check the acceleration on the interstate." That's a key comment you need to tell them. Since there aren't usually any interstates close by- you may have to drive a bit to get to one. (this will give you time to move the furniture or whatever it is)I've found an SUV to be the best option for moving furniture. You absolutely must return the vehicle in the same condition as you left the lot. With trucks, there is a big potential of scratching the bed, unless it has a Rhino lining, which could probably still show marks. So, make sure whatever it is you're moving is relatively close to your house, since you'll probably only have 30 minutes or so to move it. You may possibly be able to get them to let you test-drive the vehicle overnight which would be the BPS (best possible scenario).

Brenna and I actually proved this to be true recently. We bought a dresser and used this method to bring it from the seller's apt. to our house. Worked like a charm. I didn't feel so bad about doing it because I gave honest feedback when i returned the vehicle. Our victim was the Hyundai Santa Fe. I honestly told him it was a piece of junk and the fuel economy was crappy for such a small SUV. I'm confident this tricky method will be in a movie before long.

I think this could also be used when you need to run some errands around town, but you don't have any gas.

So, now you have some easy methods to save a little money. Glasgow 1 out.