Motherhood....there is nothing that can help prepare you for it. You freak out about being a mom... wondering why in the world they have tests and licenses for everything in life, but not one for parenthood. Then this beautiful gift from God comes... bringing with her the tiniest hands... that somehow are able to hold not only your heart, but everyone's heart that she meets. And along with her, God inserts the mom gene and erases any memory you had of sleeping through the night.
I've never been more tired in my life than I am now... but every minute she keeps me up... is just more time I have with her. Waking me up at two o'clock in the morning screaming cause she is wasting away and stumbling into her dark room trying to change her before I feed her. Tears rolling down her little face looking at me wondering why in the world I haven't fed her yet. But then to sit there...rocking her...feeding her... just looking at this beautiful baby that Shane and I have made (with God's help of course). Looking at her little features... seeing Shane's mouth, ears and feet... wondering where my features are. :)
My beautiful 6 pounds 13oz baby Savannah... is now 4 months and over 12 pounds. My sweet baby that would only smile because of a dream or gas... now smiles and laughs all the time (she thinks her daddy is the funniest person ever). It has been so much fun watching her find her hands and holding them together like she is getting ready to pray. Her finding her feet and wondering why her toes aren't as long as her fingers (they are much harder to suck on). Watching as my poor baby's hair falls out... first where she looks like an old man... then falling out to where it looks like the parting of the red sea on my child's head.
But it is hard. It is hard trying to have energy to do anything besides eat and sleep. It is hard to feel attractive when you are pumping and feel like a diary cow. It is hard to put Shane before Savannah. Like the song my granny Lucy use to sing to me... The Devil is a sly ol' fox. But God is good... he gets you through all the awkward parts.
I love being a mom. I look forward to all of her milestones. When she says momma... I love you... Gosh... that is going to be amazing. Thanks for reading! We love and miss ya'll!!!!
1 comment:
I just want you to know that I think you are both precious parents simply for the fact that in the midst of inconvenience pure joy is found in Savannah. You are a precious couple for your pure love for one another. You are a precious family for your complete satisfaction in God. I miss you both! Truly inspirational!
Post a Comment